So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
