How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
