dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
