I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
