Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
