Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
