they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
