I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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