If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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