So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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