Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
