so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
