I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
