whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize