he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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