I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
