Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
