You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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