dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
