i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
