The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
