Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
