I've blown a few things in my day
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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