According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it glows. i had to have it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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