I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize