just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
