im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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