He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
