I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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