why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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