just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
should my penis look like a turkey
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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