you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
