its not stalking. its research.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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