Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
