"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
