I want to stick my p in your. b.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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