Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
