Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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