how can u be prego again
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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