Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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