I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
