I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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