ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
