My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize