hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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