I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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