would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
