i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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