11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
