She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
