FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
