I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
try to milk me bitch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
