im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
