I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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