Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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