only if we run a train.
done.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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