When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Barsexuality is the new black.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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