i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
