yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
